Funny Ways to Say Your Taking a Shit
Welcome to our collection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues, or family on Facebook or in person!
Both you and the birthday boy/girl are sure to get a laugh or two from all of the funny ways to wish them "Happy Birthday!"
Upgrade from boring birthday wishes, and enjoy the memes and messages below!
Funny Birthday Wishes
1. Happy Birthday! May you live to be old and toothless.
2. Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Candles are years
Happy Birthday to you!
3. Blow me, says your lighted candle! Happy birthday buddy.
4. Forget the past, forget the future and please forget the present too as I did forget to get you one. But happy birthday, dear.
5. Happy birthday! I hope you get dope and happiness. Sorry, hope and happiness.
Looking for one for a coworker or colleague?
For Accountants
For Bosses & Managers
For Engineers
For Friends Fans
For HR Managers
For Office Workers & Coworkers
For Salespeople
For The Office Fans
6. Another year closer to getting those senior citizen seats on buses! Happy birthday.
7. Another birthday comes by with more candles on your cake and less hairs on your head!
8. Dear hubby,
You define my past and my future.
And as for the present, I could find nothing for you. So I bought one for myself.
9. I hope you enjoy your birthday just like when you were born in this world. Without clothes.
10. Once in many years, people with great passion and brilliance are born into this world who aims at the greater things in life. And today one of them would like to wish you a very happy birthday.
Looking for one for a sports fan?
For Baseball Fans
For Basketball Fans
For Football Fans
For Hockey Fans
For Rugby Fans
For Soccer/Football Fans
11. I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but they wouldn't let me courier myself to you. Hence, Happy Birthday!
12. I wish almighty embraces you with luck to follow up those dreams and also a bucket of water to wake you up from them.
13. One more year of warming your butt on my couch. Happy birthday!
14. Happy birthday buddy. Don't you worry about getting so old. That was something that happened years ago.
15. Happy birthday and welcome to the '29 years old forever' club!
Looking for one for someone older?
For Bowlers
For Crafters
For Democrats
For Gardeners
For Older People
For Republicans
16. Happy birthday man, and if someone calls you old, whack him with your walking stick.
17. There is no way in hell that I could have forgotten your birthday.
.
.
.
.
Because a sweet little angel called Facebook reminded me!
18. Take two pieces of cake, one in each hand and you'll be on a balanced diet.
19. Hit a donkey with your foot and have a kick-ass birthday!
20. Wishing the most beautiful and intelligent person I know a great day. That's me. And to you a very happy birthday.
Looking for one about the outdoors?
For Campers
For Farmers
About Fishing
For Hikers
For Hunters
For Rock Climbers
21. Happy birthday gal, I am political enough to remember your birth date but to forget your age.
22. Happy birthday dude. Enjoy another 365 days of an all-expense paid trip around the sun.
23. Good luck getting a cake big enough to fit all those candles! Happy birthday buddy.
24. Wishing you the happiest of birthdays. May you have the energy and excitement of a 2-year-old but not the amount of their teeth.
25. Thanks for always being older than me. Happy birthday buddy.
Looking for one about music?
For Dancers
For DJs
For Drummers
For Guitar Players
For Pianists
For Singers
26. You are just getting younger in reverse! Happy birthday!
27. Happy birthday! May you live long enough to see Amazon delivering on the moon.
28. Happy Birthday, son! Your existence taught me the valuable lesson of protection of one's assets.
29. Your birthday gives me one more chance to gift you stuff that I need. Happy Birthday dear brother!
30. May you get everything that you wish for, and your wife knows nothing about it too! Happy Birthday!
Looking for one about beverages?
For Beer Lovers
For Coffee Lovers
For Tea Lovers
With Wine
31. Happy Birthday! Nope, it wasn't a Facebook reminder.
.
.
.
.
.
Your mom called and told me nobody wished you.
32. So where do you plan to spend your birthday at? The dentist's place or at the chiropractor's? Happy Birthday, dear!
33. Why is it called a birthday? It's not like you were being born throughout the day. I mean, your mom could have been in labor for a long time, but that doesn't count as your birthday right. They could have named it Labour day and celebrated it. Oh, but that would have been confusing. Not like most people know what Labour Day is about. Oh, what was I talking about? Happy Birthday!
34. Happy Birthday to the 18-year-old with 32 years of working experience.
35. So, if you could just get the cake, food and the booze, I can get rest of the party home. Happy birthday, bestie!
Looking for one about a technical career?
For Architects
For Bank Workers
For Cops
For Lawyers
For Personal Trainers
For Pilots and Airline Workers
36. Happy 15th anniversary of your 18th birthday (If the person is 33 years old).
37. In case you feel lonely, neglected, unloved or simply forgotten, they say you should just take a loan and miss a few payments. Or better, just change your birthday to tomorrow on Facebook!
38. Happy 'two minutes of intense awkwardness when people sing around, and you have a hold on to that smile all that while!'
39. You are so old that there is a bonfire on your cake. But happy birthday!
40. The worst thing about your birthday is that everybody knows we grew up together and it reveals my age too. But still, happy birthday to my all-time bestie.
Looking for one for someone healthy or athletic?
For Exercisers and Gym-Goers
For Health Nuts
For Runners
For Scuba Divers and Snorkelers
For Vegans
For Yoga Lovers
41. I might not remember where I placed the car keys at our age, but I surely remember your birthday! Have a great birthday.
42. Wishing you another great year with newer wrinkles and greyer hairs.
43. Happy 'sitting on your Facebook and typing a thousand thanks to people you don't know' day!
44. You were born at the expense of 3899999 sperms. But Hey! It's your birthday!
45. What goes up, comes down. Well, except your age, right? Happy birthday dude.
Looking for one for someone that's mechanically minded?
For Boat Lovers
For Car Lovers
For Mechanics
For Motorcycle Riders
46. Happy birthday dude, hope your mustache grows at least this year.
47. Happy birthday to you and that newborn wrinkle on your cheeks.
48. Happy 18th! Here's to all the legal activities you will indulge in now and still be judged!
49. Birthdays: The one time in the year when you have your name on something you didn't buy yourself. Happy Birthday!
50. Happy Birthday to you! I wish you get everything in life as easy as you got fat.
Looking for one for someone creative?
For Artists and Painters
For Authors and Writers
For Hairdressers and Barbers
For Journalists
For Photographers
51. Start counting the cavities in your mouth, rather than the candles on your cake. Happy Birthday!
52. Happy birthday to the ugliest fart I've known.
53. Let's face it; this is probably the only day in the year you look fine. Many more to come.
54. Happy birthday and my heartfelt condolences to you for aging up!
55. Only if discovery showed animals celebrating their birthdays… Yes! You'd be on television!
Looking for one based on something specific?
For Military and Veterans
For Neighbors
For Poker Players
For Roommates
For Shoppers
For Weed Smokers and Stoners
56. Nobody really cares about clapping and singing the happy birthday song, what everyone really has their eyes on, is the cake.
57. I'm just glad that we could become as close friends as you inviting me to your birthday party!
58. Only call me for the after party with all the alcohol and chicken.
59. Yesterday is past, tomorrow is not known, and present… I didn't get one.
60. Blow out the goddamn candles and give us the cake! Global warming is increasing way too fast.
Looking for one for a sports player?
For Golfers
For Skiers
For Surfers
For Swimmers
For Tennis Players
For Volleyball Players
61. I took my day off from the office today, so you and I can have a nice chat over your retirement plans.
62. I got you a stress ball as your present. With all the tension of growing old you know.
63. Blowing out those candles and wishing to get rich over night? Keep blowing! Cause that shit doesn't work.
64. With this another year of passing, I hope you start acting your age and not your shoe size.
65. You're not 45. You're 20 with 25 years of experience.
Looking for one for a friend?
For Blondes
For Elvis Fans
For Female Best Friends
For LGBTQ Friends
For Male Best Friends
For Michael Jackson Fans
For Pokémon Fans
For Seinfeld Fans
For Travelers
66. I've never heard of Superheroes wanting any gifts, but I have heard that they throw the greatest parties.
67. I've been your best friend through thick and thin… and it's only fair that I get to kick you the most.
68. This birthday party won't even be happening if your parents knew your actual marks. So get me the biggest piece of cake, half your gifts, and some money, please.
69. Happy birthday… blah, blah and blah… CHEERS! Birthday wishes!
70. If you really want to look young and thin and pretty on your birthday call everyone's grand moms and grand dads and play chess and poker.
Looking for one about superheroes or fictional characters?
For Batman Fans
For Harry Potter Fans
For Spider-Man Fans
For Star Trek Fans
For Star Wars Fans
For Superman Fans
71. Happy Birthday! Isn't it? Wait, let me just confirm it on Facebook.
72. It is just a package deal! You get older and wiser. Nope, you can't have just the latter! It doesn't work that way. Happy Birthday!
73. Here's to another year of endless fights, prank games, sneaking out of homes and keeping each other almost sane. Have a good one bud.
74. With another year gone, don't start assuming you're an adult now.
75. Did you know you make the best pasta in the world? Hint: pasta brunch for your birthday party!
Looking for one about school or college?
About Chemistry
For College Friends
For Students
For Teachers
76. I wanted to give you a dog for your birthday, but then my mom said you're way too clumsy to be handling a dog. Until next, happy birthday!
77. Today I have gathered the courage to stand in front of you, look into your eyes, hold your hand and tell you… that I am only here for the cake.
78. With today happening you should get your birth certificate verified as it says expired.
79. Candles on the cake don't determine your age. So save the wax, and bake more cake.
80. Wearing a tiara over your head and giving everyone birthday caps won't be making you any younger.
Looking for one for an animal lover?
For Cat Lovers
With Chickens
With Cows
For Dog Lovers
With Goats
For Horse Lovers
81. Everyone should buy two cakes on their birthdays as one can be smeared over the face with absolutely no regrets.
82. Don't trouble your lovely mother to host a grand party at home. Just get us drunk, and we all go home happy!
83. Happy Birthday! No, I did not forget. And it's not that late. Technically, it still is your birthday in America.
84. Don't they say love is all you need? So I didn't get a present but double the love. Happy birthday.
85. I never understood the point of taking a photo when there's cream stuck in hair; icing slathered all over the face cause that's when you're looking the ugliest. Birthday wishes!
Looking for one for someone you love?
For Your Aunt
For Your Brother
For Your Cousin
For Your Dad
For Your Daughter
For Your Fiance
For Your Granddaughter
For Your Husband
For Your Mom
For Your Nephew
For Your Niece
For Your Sister
For Your Son
For Your Uncle
For Your Wife
For Your Younger Brother from an Older Sister
86. Happy birthday! You're not old obviously. But if you were my cereal I'd check the expiration date before consuming it.
87. Do you know why older people wear a cardigan with everything? Don't worry you're one year close to finding out. Happy birthday you old birdie.
88. Just know you're getting old when you need an umbrella in the rain.
89. Happiness is like uprooting of your nail, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the pain. Just like what you'll feel today. Happy birthday!
90. Time and tide wait for none, but the time can stand still for a woman of your age.
Looking for one for a religious person?
For Christians
For Muslims
For Pastors and Priests
91. I got you a killer gift offering a facial which you can avail when your cake comes out.
92. Inside every old person, there's a child thinking where the time went.
Looking for one about a medical career?
For Dentists
For Doctors
For Nurses
93. Living as an old man is better than not living at all right? Happy birthday!
94. Here's wishing you a hundred wall posts and tweets from people you never talk to! Happy Birthday!
Looking for one about computers and electronics?
For Gamers
For IT Professionals and Computer Geeks
95. You're not 40. You've only lived twenty years twice.
96. I know this is early, but since I haven't gotten an invitation, I thought of letting you know that none of us are planning any surprise party.
Looking for one about food?
For Cooks and Chefs
For Foodies
97. The only thing that comes without effort or hard work is old age.
98. Happy Birthday best friend. Now let's go to the corner and bitch about people who didn't wish you today.
Looking for one for someone you "tolerate?"
For Your Brother-In-Law or Sister-In-Law
For Your Father-In-Law or Mother-In-Law
For Your Son-In-Law or Daughter-In-Law
99. If white is not your favorite hair color, you might have some problems with the increasing age.
100. I wanted to post the longest fanciest birthday message on Facebook for you today, but I had typers block.
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